Avatar for pev 11 ноября 2004
pev

England's Notice of Revocation of Independence, 3 November 2004.
To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect an acceptable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP (for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  1. You should look up «revocation» in the Oxford English Dictionary.Then look up «aluminium». Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix «ize» will be replaced by the suffix «ise». You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct
    pronunciation.
  2. There is no such thing as «US English». We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".
  3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as «Taggart» will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is «Devon». If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become «shires» eg. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
  4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
  5. You should relearn your original national anthem, «God Save The Queen», but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to  get confused and give up half way through.
  6. You should stop playing American «football». There is only one kind of football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American «football», but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2006. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls'game called «rounders» which is baseball without fancy team strip,oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
  7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler.
  8. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
  9. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
  10. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
  11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as «beer», and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as «Lager». The substances formerly known as «American Beer» will henceforth be refered to as «Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine».
  12. From November 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or «Gasoline» as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
  13. You will hand over Mel Gibson to face charges of treason.
  14. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

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Avatar for magictime спустя 5 дней (16 ноября 2004)
magictime

O thats realy funny cause whatever they say about each other, British people are just mad bout Americans as much as Americans do bout them and they are both just such fond of each other. Although British people pretends to be independent from the influence of Americans, the way they try to show it off in culture and everyday life just makes me smile. Because in any particular situation when its all about US' culture or globalisation any Ebglish (others never mind) British citizen is gonna present you amazingly huge stuff bout how horiible it is.And I just wanna give couple of examples in media industry.The last Christmas' «must-see» movie in UK was Love Actually which has already become here a cult one comedy for winter holiday(like Starie Pesni o glavnom in Russia)has a line in its script where Huge Grant, who acts a part of prime minister, says NO to American president that came to London to decide one question.So, its shown as a kind of sensation and the crowd applouds and things like that. Just I saw the reflection of the audience in a screen room in the cinema and many people were ready to cry:) Because actually everyone here understands that its just a fantasy. Another point Id like to say is that living here I realised that at the same time the space, the area and the medium of the main interest for British people is United States (for English population and for Black population-I think the reason is clear-in US the level of opportunities for black people to make the wishes come true is CONSIDERABLY higher) because the cost of life is cheaper, the market of products and vacancies is higher and just my private observation - any islander dreams to be on the continent.In case of Britain this continent is America, not Europe.And its fabulous and cute to have American bfriend or gfriend.
What makes US and UK so close in the context of the most influential present day forces, which is Media, is the amount of relations between American and British corporations in this huge area.For ex, News Corporation owned by Rupert Murdock includes a number of biggest companies, newspapers, magasins, networks in US and UK - not in Europe (20th century fox, The Times, The Sun, SkyTV....).I think this kind of things affects populations' mind of both countries in many ways.
By the way when BBC is famous for its antipopularculture content and British argues that US suffer from absence of independent high-level broadcasting, Americans' answer is that BBC just cannot be independent from gov as its funded by gov so the idea is like «you British today are not British enough as freedom of your broadcasting is actually under the pressure, but we, Americans, with our private network' and broadcasting system are real anglosaxes and we continue this tradition of freedom when you ve lost it!»
Anyway what Im talking is just all about there is no English without Americans and Americans without English and they like each other and want to be each other and gonna support each other in everything... whatever tney say!!! Im not realy sure bout how conservative is today United Kingdom but as many British say it s unbelievably changed during last 10-20 years.

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 454 дня (13 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Marisha!
You speak Endlish very -very noice!!!
Amazing))))
What's up, dear?
What are about the study in England?
Are you going to come back from there?
I'm in the USA right now and I really don't know if I'll be back there in Russia.
The outlook of people there is quite different from Russian peole.
But I get used to this situation, because the time flows and I get a little bit older and more experienced.
Because I have to take some classes and work at hte same time.
What are you doing there exept learning some subjects?
I'm trying to hang out!!!
When are you going to return to Russia?
I'm looking forward to hearing from you, honey!!!
You can tell hello to everybody I know!
So, keep in touch, ok?

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Avatar for swansy спустя 3 часа (13 февраля 2006)
swansy

Hi there! You mentioned saying hello to everybody she knows...how about me? I guess i'm one of those she isn't acquainted with...but i do want to give back a warmhearted «hi, Nadja! what's up? how's it going there, on the other end of the world?» ;)
we're missing you a lot here...

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Avatar for magictime спустя 41 минуту (13 февраля 2006)
magictime

Hi Nadya:) That s realy so strange to write to you in English...but as it happened to start this topic not in Russian, I ll keep doing this...So....Someone told me you stayed in States for a while. Actually that sounds crazy to me...How does it work darling? What are you gonna do bout ur university? Where about in States you are? I was in Ekaterinburg for about 10 days for New year and now I m going there only in July after finish my uni work experience and hand in the report bout it which is almost the same long as my diploma next year. The course is Media and Cultural Studies, mass communication and culture or just studying modernity...that s fun. Well, I don t work here. Just study hard party hard and doing yoga...What else? The work experience gonna start in April, which I m realy looking forward to.....That ll be in Media industry. I work on it now.
What else? I m in London.It s wicked. Desperately fond of this city and absolutely in love with England but think going to Russia after all for many reasons - though that s 50/50. I see a huge gap between long term tourism and emigration - even though the place is multicultural and full of opportunities. I ve got this and next year to finish my BA than may be MA but I m not sure where and which field...Time will show. Live with couple of friends - English and Swidish. Both funky girls - Rosann s just staying behind me and reading this...:) Nad, hope you r all right and everything s fine. Tell about ur plans. Keep in touch! Lovely Valentine's day. XXX

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 21 час (14 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

HI girls!!!!
It's pretty nice to see you here!!! WE talk to each other nevertheless we're in different countries, but still...
I really miss you and our time together!!!
I have become a permanent user of this site because I want to know more about our university life and you!!!
By the way, I always remember all the things in Russia... My native country!!!
I've become a patriot!!!
I've found out that the life in the country where I was born is not so bad as many people say!
I don't trust them!
Yeah, it's cool here, but you can do nothing without your family and close people!!!
I hang out there, I've met a lot of people here, I've earned a lot of experience!!!
Nobody can deny that it was USEFUL for me!
How are you there???
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
SEE YOU!!!!!

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Avatar for katya спустя 2 дня (17 февраля 2006)
katya

Hi girls! I am a former student of our department. Vitae, I am also in the US, NYC (though I do not know where exactly you are located) and probably in a week or earlier I am gonna go to Ekaterinburg. I was just thinking if you want me to bring something to your relatives or friends let me know, my email ismailto:katherina82@mail.ru. You can send your stuff to me by FedEx,I know they can do it overnight. Anyway, just wanted to let you know. Bye

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Avatar for kei спустя 2 часа (17 февраля 2006)
kei

vot i chudnenko, Nadezhda, peredaj mne suvenirnoe pismezzo, porfa! esli v Mexike ne svidilis, tak xot posylkami mozhno kommunicirovat) xe-xe

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Avatar for magictime спустя 7 часов (17 февраля 2006)
magictime

Hello everyone:)...I didn t get...Nad, are u going to Russia in the nearest future or not at all?

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 2 часа (17 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Vicky!!!
I'm so glad to see you here!!!
Kogda ty vozvrashaeshsya v Rossiyu?
Ya poluchila tvoe pismo s nomerom telefona, tak chto zhdi zvonka!!!
Tceluyu

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 11 минут (17 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Marina, hi!
Yeah, I'm going back to Russia!!!
It's my country, so there are all my close people.
What about you?
You're staying there for a while, right?
When will we see each other?
Do you communicate with someone from the Italian college?
By the way, Tatiana Stepanovna has a birthday on 22 of February!!!
Do you know about it?
see you)))

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Avatar for magictime спустя 53 минуты (17 февраля 2006)
magictime

I m in London till 1st of July and then I ll be in Ekb but I can t say now how long Im gonna remain there.
I remember that it s Tatyana Stepanovna's birthday andddddddddd it s my 20th birthday on 20th of February!!!:))))Once upon the time!:) Anyway, I ll try to give her a buzz. I couldn t call her out when I was in Russia for New year...Neither home number not mobile did answer...Maybe you know her postal adress? Could be nice to sent a postcard. If so, let me know pls.

By the way, I got a letter from Dasha Utkina - but very short one. She s in England as well!!! But she left to Russia for holiday for couple of weeks, so I hope to see her after that.

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Avatar for magictime спустя 17 минут (17 февраля 2006)
magictime

Nad, my e-mail s: marina_solovieva@mail.ru

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 1 час (17 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Marishka!!!!
I remember about your birhday!!!!
So, it's very nice that you are going to stay in our native city for a while!!!
And then you'll come to England again?
Maybe, u r going to stay there forever?
What about Outkina?
I haven't heard about her for a long time!!!
If I'm not mistaken, I sent her a letter 3 or 4 months ago, but she hadn't answer.
What's up with her?
What's about your studying?
You like it?
Your English is so good!!!
You communicate only with English people, right?
When I came to USA, I couldn't understand many words because their pronunciation differs from the one we studied in Russia.
As for Tatiana Stepanovna... You can dial our collede's number and ask Lubov Andreevna or Olga Sergeevna if they know her mailing adress.
Maybe, you have some pictures?
My e mail is vitae2006@gmail.com
So I'm waiting!!!!!
Have a nice time!!!!

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Avatar for kei спустя 1 день (18 февраля 2006)
kei

Nad, so are you definitely coming back to Russia? which date? i thought you are in NYC to stay, ¿no?
if it isnt yet for sure, i`d be really happy to get a greeting card from you))

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Avatar for pocaba спустя 11 часов (19 февраля 2006)
pocaba

Vicki,¿que' tal, como estas?
¿Que' tiempo hace alli' ?

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Avatar for kei спустя 8 часов (19 февраля 2006)
kei

¡hola-hola! aki es bien chingon, hace sol y crecen mangos)) ¿que tal en la universidad?

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Avatar for magictime спустя 2 часа (19 февраля 2006)
magictime

I ve got some russian friends but as I live and study with British, I speak it most of the time.
Studying is ok. I enjoy it. On my course I m the only Russian speaker but there are many European exchange students. It s hard to say now if I go back or stay here or go somewhere else...I think that I rather stop Russia but I don't know in how many years. Time ll show. Whatever...I don t fell like make such decisions now, that s not my goal to figure it out in my mind - too young - just trying to concentrate on what I m doing at the moment.Do you see yourself in States in the future?

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Avatar for pocaba спустя 10 часов (20 февраля 2006)
pocaba
¿que tal en la universidad?

asi' asi'...

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 7 часов (20 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Vika!
What do you mean «get a greeting card from me»?
You wanna stsy here, in the USA?
I'm just wondering. But I want to know the answer as soon as possible, because you know...
I'm alone here but if you are planning to stay... Let me see.
So, I'm waiting for your decision!!!!!
I hope, we'll connect soon))))

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Avatar for kei спустя 3 часа (20 февраля 2006)
kei

Nad, not yet!!i meant it would be awesome to get a written letter and some stuff, you know, from you to figure how is it going your life in NYC unless you are back in Russia like in a couple of months))

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 1 час (20 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Marinochka!
I don't know exactly yet if I'd like to be there.
I don't want to lose any connections with my close people and relatives.
Maybe I'd like to live here but a little bit later. after grduating from the University/

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 18 часов (21 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

VIK, I LOOK AT THIS LIFE HERE, BUT I'M FED UP WITH ALL THIS STUFF. BUT THE POINT IS THAT I WANNA TAKE SOME DAYS OFF AND TRAVEL AROUND THE COUNTRY. SHAME ON ME, BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ANYWHERE EXCEPT NYC, SO I HOPE I'LL DO IT.
ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN ME FOR THE SUMMER VACATIONS?

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Avatar for kei спустя 4 часа (21 февраля 2006)
kei

Nad, i´m still not sure about it. you mean the WAT, programme, huh?

anyway, we´re all happy you are planning to come back))

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 19 часов (22 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Thanks for telling that, Vicky!
No, it's not a kind of this programnme, just my vacations!
What about you?
When are you going to come back to Russia?
Recently I 've spoken to Tatiana Stepanovna! She has a birthday today, on 02/22/2006.
By the way, Tatiana Vasil'evna is going to have a birhday party in Aprl 2006. Will you be there???
Can you send me some photos?
I haven't seen you for a hundred of years!!!

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Avatar for kei спустя 10 часов (23 февраля 2006)
kei

well, i'm coming back soon at the beginning of March
Tatyana Vasilyevna is having a party? in april, 2006? ¡que raro! sounds like the world´s gone crazy: i thought parties and TatyanaV are incompatible))

look, i didn't get the point: you are going to spend your american vacations in Russia or vice versa - you are taking your time in the US and then coming back to sacred land)?

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Avatar for amix спустя 5 часов (23 февраля 2006)
amix сотрудник

OMG.
Me and T.V. still live in the same city, but the message about her 'party' had to jump across the world to reach me (Ekb -> N.America -> Ekb -> S.America -> Ekb).
The magic world of IT.

Glad to see all of ya here...

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 7 часов (23 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Hi, Andrey!!!
Nice to see you here!
I called the Italian college and Olga Sergeevna told me that both of Tatianas are going to make a poetry evening in April.
I think, it's going to be a great party there. Many students are going to read poems, make some funny presentations and all the things like that_))) Isn't it a party???

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Avatar for vitae_ant менее чем спустя минуту (23 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

By the way, how are you doing, Andrey?
How is everything???

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 1 минуту (23 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Vik, I'm going to enjoi America's sightseeing and then come back to my native country))))

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 1 день (24 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

Andrey, would you be so kind as to tell me how can I put any picture here as you have done it?
I don't know how to call it. Thanks

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Avatar for amix спустя 46 минут (24 февраля 2006)
amix сотрудник

sorry, it can't be done that easy yet ;(
the pics can only be uploaded via ftp (dumb, yep), but you can use any free image hosting service (such as http://flickr.com) and insert pics from there to the forum using the 'img' tag (which has to be put into square brackets), and — and... ahem.

well. what can i say? just use flickr and give a link here. there's no reason to fill one's head with all the gedanken tech stuff which no one is gonna need.

P.S.: just thought.. if you meant the userpic (aka avatar), check this link. but, i guess, your intention was to share some photos..?

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 56 минут (24 февраля 2006)
vitae_ant

it's so nice that you told me that)))
Thanks.
How are you doing in Russia?
What are your plans for the summer???

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Avatar for magictime спустя 1 час (24 февраля 2006)
magictime

Hmm...Andrey, I could sent lovely pictures from London with some comments.

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Avatar for magictime спустя 19 часов (25 февраля 2006)
magictime
By the way, I always remember all the things in Russia... My native country!!!
I've become a patriot!!!
I've found out that the life in the country where I was born is not so bad as many people say!
I don't trust them!
Yeah, it's cool here, but you can do nothing without your family and close people!!!

Nadejda, this is just «first year homeseek» - thought I do not encourage you to have such a long Odissea as mine. That s just a little note.Have an exciting trip around states! I just got a letter this morning from my course office with an essey question: To what extent may the film Blue Velvet be seen as engaging with the cultural mythology of the American small town (Mythologies of America, The Small Town - Storehouse of American Values)? Advised to see A history of Vilolence and Wisconsin Death Trip - the last one I already saw, which was awesome!!! The movie firstly showes a lovely american town with children playing on the grass then it showes only a history of the ways people were dying in one small town during a period of time - from executions to accidents and mental affections, all in black and white.I think that's vey British to learn this kind of things at the Universities about Americans:)))

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Avatar for amix спустя 59 минут (25 февраля 2006)
amix сотрудник

Marisha, that would be nice.
of course, anyone can send me some (one to five, circa) photos to andrei.mikhailenko@usu.ru so that i could publish'em in the news at our website.

How are you doing in Russia?
What are your plans for the summer???

well, my main todo for this summer is the thesis. :)

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Avatar for katya спустя 8 дней (6 марта 2006)
katya

Hi Vitae! It is awesome you are in NYC! If you'd like we can meet up for drinks or coffee, I would love to do it!!! I think it will be fun to talk to someone, who also studied at our italian college and our department in the University. My telephone number is 917-846-4827, and there is again my email katherina82@mail.ru, I am looking forward to seeing you!!!

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 3 дня (9 марта 2006)
vitae_ant

Hi there!!!!
You live in NYC????
For how long???
Yeah, I'd like to meet!!!
My phone number is 646 267 7599.

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Avatar for katya спустя 23 часа (10 марта 2006)
katya

Hi!!! Yep, I live on 72nd and 3rd) I will give you a call around 5.30 p.m., ok?I think you are probably sleeping right now)!!!

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 51 минуту (10 марта 2006)
vitae_ant

Katya, I'm terribly sorry, but I wonder if we know each other. Sorry if I don't remember this:-)
How are you?
How long have you been here???
I live at Brighton.

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 6 дней (16 марта 2006)
vitae_ant

kak vy?

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Avatar for magictime спустя 1 день (18 марта 2006)
magictime

Exams......Last week of term

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Avatar for vitae_ant спустя 2 дня (20 марта 2006)
vitae_ant

Is it very difficult to pass the exams there?
What about the system of education???
Does it differ from Russian one???
What kind of exams do you have this term, Marishka?
Waiting for your answer))))

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Avatar for magictime спустя 10 часов (20 марта 2006)
magictime

Well.......its hard to say. Its not easier or harder. Just different. Actually i m confused to explain because I don t remember how it was in Russia:( All exams are in forms of esseys or presentations. Stuff is very helpful. You pass exams and coursework every term (there are three of them) in your university department. If you faild without any reason, you have got second effort (but you can only fail twice during the year) but you can only get pass mark - 40% or «C». At the end of the year, in June, there is a big University Examiner Board where they check all the works of all students again - to be submitted and not plagarised. That s it. Sounds scary but it is actually ok if you do everything in time - there won't be rush at the end of term.
This term I ve got few presentations: on British cinema, New german cinema and Derrida's «Writing and Difference». Also an essey 2500 words on modern french philosophy. An article for a chosen publication for cultural ctiricism, about anything I want. And a few stupid technical workds for Personal and Professional development, which realy annoy everyone....

How about your studies?

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